So, I’m mostly over it. I spent a little time last night lamenting in sorrow and feeling bad for myself, and now I’m mostly good. I think about some of the people that I’ve gained motivation from over the last couple years, Jenny and Paulette specifically. They kept going and going and going. I understand that sickness and death are a part of life. Stuff happens; there is absolutely no way to avoid the inevitability of bad shit! But I have the knowledge of being a Christian, being a son to a Strong Mother and a father to two beautiful and smart little girls and a son who is all I could as for. I can listen to their voices and know that in the end, it will all be ok.
Whether the news that I receive over the next couple weeks is good, bad or indifferent; it will change little to my life. I love my mother completely but I’m secure in our mutual belief in God to make things work out. I do know that she will pass eventually. While I’d like that to be in about another 30 years, that is not my call. J is finally getting the answers (and hopefully the help) that she needs. Even if her diagnosis is grim, at least we will know something.
Point is this; nothing I can do will change the news I’ll receive from either of these two important women in my life. Why sit here, feel bad, and bring people into my depressed state of mind? I won’t. As far as my other little predicament (the tent), screw it. I live where I live. I have lived in much worse places, and I’ve lived in better ones. There are so many more important things to take up my thoughts.
So basically, after last night’s 3 cigars (yes I know how smart that is with a mother who has Lung Cancer), I’ve come to the conclusion that life sucks and it is time to HTFU. Me lying in bed is not gonna make this Marathon in October any easier. My mom and J being sick aren’t gonna keep me out of this Marathon in October. Where I am currently living is not gonna keep me out of this Marathon in October. Fact of the matter is, I’m only hurting myself. If I don’t put in the training, I’ll be that much weaker come Marathon Morning. There is no way to plan for every eventuality in distance running. You can only prepare yourself the best that you can with what you have. I’ve been given something a rare gift. I have the ability to train as much (or as little) as I desire at altitude for one year, before competing in my first Marathon. I am the only one that can mess up this opportunity. So this week I will be running and doing a lot of it. Some slow, some fast. Every mile will have a purpose and every pace change will be appreciated. Time to HTFU and Carry on.
Workouts this week:
Tuesday, June 15
5 miles moderate with strides and some added sprints
Wednesday, June 16
Rest (or 2-3 recovery miles)
Thursday, June 17
7 miles moderate run w/ LT effort and HM effort mixed in. More sprints
Friday, June 18
Rest (or 2-3 recovery miles)
Saturday, June 19
3 miles easy
Sunday, June 20
15-16 miles moderate run w/ progression run. Then 8-10 x 1 min @ 3k effort w/1 min jog rests
Life is short... running makes it seem longer.