14 June 2010

So that workout sucked…

I don’t know if it is because of the new living quarters, the problems with my –ex or my mom’s medical situation but my workouts have sucked drastically as of late. I went out to put in 10 to 13 miles today and I figured I would run 6, start the speed portion and go from there. If I felt good I’d do the full 13, if not I’d settle with 10 and add 6 more tonight, as opposed to 3 that was scheduled. Ahem, this morning’s workout actually finished with me having run a whopping, mind-boggling 5 miles. I even walked in there a little. I just didn’t have it in me. I can knock out 10 miles without a problem; there should be no reason why I couldn’t even make it halfway. Yesterday was an off day and the day before was only 5 miles easy. So I am pretty confused.

I woke up this morning at 3AM for absolutely no reason. I laid in bed and tossed a little until I finally made it back to sleep and woke up again around 515. This is when I was supposed to get up. I turned off my alarm and tried to get off of my cot and no joy. I just didn’t want to go. I did want to run this morning, I did actually feel good about the workout today; a lot of sprints. I just didn’t want to get out of bed. It’s not like the cot was super comfy. It isn’t. It’s not as if this tent is very homey, far from it. So what gives? I am in Marathon Training and I can’t let bad guys get to me. I like the old Poker Mantra “First, you need to forget your last hand.” But how can I forget a 2/7 off suit, when the following hand is 3/7 off suit? Hmmmm, this is the dilemma. How do I HTFU, if I don’t want to? I know it is just a faze and that it will pass soon enough, but what do I do in the interim?

Well, my mom should get a treatment plan on/about Wednesday. So, if that, and my 'J' is what has caused me to lose interest maybe this week will present some answers and some better workouts. If it is my rooming situation, then damn, there is no telling when this will be resolved. Either way, I need to snap out of it and Man up! Some of you that are reading this aren’t Runners and may not really understand why this is a big deal. It’s beyond training and running to achieve a goal months down the line. The Marathon is just the reward for the work that I’ve put in. This while occurrence can be correlated to school/graduation. You work for four years to reach one day that you can walk across the stage and everyone can clap and congratulate you. Well I am training for four months so that I can run across the finish line and receive my medal; as you would stroll across the stage and receive your diploma. Your grades equate to my finishing time. Your decision may be to go on to another level of school or enter the job market; my decisions will be to run another Marathon and finish faster or retire to shorter distances.

With that all in mind, imagine being in your Sophomore year and having some personal difficulties come up. Maybe your homework and study habits slack. You realize that you have two extra years to make up for the loss of focus, but does that make you feel any better about not reading the required assignment for the night? Nope! I want to do all that I can now. I want to excel now and continue to grow. I want to graduate with Honors and be proud of the journey.

Accordingly, I will come to my room tonight, I will lace up my shoes, and I will head for a little redemption through sweat and miles. I have many challenges ahead of me in life and my running (and the time I spend with God) reassures me that I can handle them. If I am unable handle the running, how will I handle the difficulties? I wouldn’t be able to. So I will run on and cover more miles. It is in me; there is no way I can’t keep going.

Learn to run when feeling the pain: then push harder.
~William Sigei

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